...It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it,
we're still fighting it." - Ben Folds
This is a great song. Go listen to it. Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqPwR39VMh0
I realized tonight that one year from now, I will be preparing to graduate from undergrad. The moment I realized that, it absolutely terrified me. Something about being out of what has come to be the very welcome and comfortable world of Illinois State seems daunting. I know I felt the same way about high school. It's just the thought of moving on again after three short years is scary.
I spent 18 years in one town. I got incredibly comfortable in who I was there and how I fit into everything. By the time college came, I was more than ready for the escape. Now, I am sitting here amazed at how quickly almost two years have gone by. I am just beginning to find my place here, and I know the next year is going to fly by because I will be busier than ever. Then I will move on. I guess that is how this whole "adult" thing works. Even scarier is knowing that I have no clue where I will be after next year. I have no idea where I will go to law school, or which ones I will even be able to afford, but we will cross those bridges when we get there.
I am consumed with work right now. I have so many things due next week, that I am not sure how it will all get done. My life is on the fast track through the second week of May, and I am just hanging on and hoping I don't fall off the crazy merry-go-round that I'm spinning on. I have consistently procrastinated each assignment, but like I always do, I will pull through and get everything done. Again, I guess that's just something that I have to get used to as an "adult".
But like Ben Folds says, I'm "still fighting it."
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: This is the ideal life." ~Mark Twain
^Who would have thought Mark Twain could have described my Saturday in one sentence?
My weekend was just a crazy juxtaposition. Friday, I left early for Chicago to tour four law schools in the span of less than seven hours. It was crazy. The day was spent running and then listening to pretty much the same information four different times. It was loud, fast, and overwhelming. I guess that's what law school will be like, though. I definitely liked one more than the others, but I am refusing to get my hopes up yet. On a related note, Chicago is amazing. The more I travel to big cities, the more I am convinced I am supposed to live in one.
Saturday was the perfect day. I was exhausted from Friday, and I didn't wake up until 2 o'clock. The day was beautiful, and we went out to watch ISU play quidditch :) There is definitely something about good weather that makes me undeniably happy. Afterward, we went to Borders to buy books during their going out of business sale. More on that later. We came back to watch the King's Speech at the Normal Theatre. Great movie. Then, after driving around for a while, we sat on the quad and had fun with sidewalk chalk. I did nothing very productive, but had a great day. I don't even feel guilty for not doing any work.
The trip to Borders reiterated something I am just now figuring out about myself. I have rekindled my love affair with books. The store is sadly closing, and the books are all haphazardly thrown on the shelves in no discernible order. There was something about being bombarded by so many different covers and titles that absolutely thrilled me. It seemed as though every title intrigued me, and every plot I read had a different connection to my life. I had to physically force myself to stop looking so I wouldn't pick up any more. Even that didn't work too well, and I left with three new books. I thought about this blog and how my goal is to experience as much as possible. I think applying that to books will kill me eventually. I will want to read everything.
There is just something about books that makes me want to get lost and escape into someone else's life. Good books stay with you in ways you sometimes don't even realize. They remain through the different ways they make you see life. Good authors can change your perspective. The more I think about authors who are important to me, the more I have the desire to write a book. I want to make that difference in someone's life. I want to be the one to change someone's perspective. Hell, I want to just be able to create a story that gives someone the ability to escape for a while. I know it takes time, and I have so many other things to do right now, but I am putting it out there so I will be persuaded to do it eventually.
After a great weekend like this, it seems only right I should have a desire to work toward the positive things I want to accomplish. Here's hoping it stays that way.
My weekend was just a crazy juxtaposition. Friday, I left early for Chicago to tour four law schools in the span of less than seven hours. It was crazy. The day was spent running and then listening to pretty much the same information four different times. It was loud, fast, and overwhelming. I guess that's what law school will be like, though. I definitely liked one more than the others, but I am refusing to get my hopes up yet. On a related note, Chicago is amazing. The more I travel to big cities, the more I am convinced I am supposed to live in one.
Saturday was the perfect day. I was exhausted from Friday, and I didn't wake up until 2 o'clock. The day was beautiful, and we went out to watch ISU play quidditch :) There is definitely something about good weather that makes me undeniably happy. Afterward, we went to Borders to buy books during their going out of business sale. More on that later. We came back to watch the King's Speech at the Normal Theatre. Great movie. Then, after driving around for a while, we sat on the quad and had fun with sidewalk chalk. I did nothing very productive, but had a great day. I don't even feel guilty for not doing any work.
The trip to Borders reiterated something I am just now figuring out about myself. I have rekindled my love affair with books. The store is sadly closing, and the books are all haphazardly thrown on the shelves in no discernible order. There was something about being bombarded by so many different covers and titles that absolutely thrilled me. It seemed as though every title intrigued me, and every plot I read had a different connection to my life. I had to physically force myself to stop looking so I wouldn't pick up any more. Even that didn't work too well, and I left with three new books. I thought about this blog and how my goal is to experience as much as possible. I think applying that to books will kill me eventually. I will want to read everything.
There is just something about books that makes me want to get lost and escape into someone else's life. Good books stay with you in ways you sometimes don't even realize. They remain through the different ways they make you see life. Good authors can change your perspective. The more I think about authors who are important to me, the more I have the desire to write a book. I want to make that difference in someone's life. I want to be the one to change someone's perspective. Hell, I want to just be able to create a story that gives someone the ability to escape for a while. I know it takes time, and I have so many other things to do right now, but I am putting it out there so I will be persuaded to do it eventually.
After a great weekend like this, it seems only right I should have a desire to work toward the positive things I want to accomplish. Here's hoping it stays that way.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Stephen King (In Morgan Freeman's voice)
^Because who doesn't love The Shawshank Redemption?
I think this blog may be the most therapeutic thing I have done in a while. I have no followers yet, and I am very reluctant to tell anyone about it. But, just putting my thoughts and feelings out there makes me feel accountable for what I do.
I have been super busy all week. Every night I have had some sort of meeting. This may seem like it is deterring me from doing the things I talked about in my first post, but in reality, it is only helping. The meetings have been for groups I have joined. I am throwing my first bits of paint, so to speak, and they are for things that will help me now and later. An honor's fraternity, a political science fraternity, and the college democrats are all lucky enough to now have my face at their meetings. :) The payoffs have been almost immediate already. I shook Dick Durbin's hand today. I only found out he was going to be here yesterday. That's how quick the benefits roll in from these things. Why didn't I do this sooner?
Sam and I have also decided to take time for ourselves. Instead of sitting on Facebook sending links to each other over Skype all night, we are now taking advantage of the free iTunes store and exercising to the free videos we have downloaded. It is already something I look forward to each night (Even if the girl on the "sexy stretch" video is super annoying).
The next two weeks will be even more hectic than this one, so I probably won't update for a while. Hopefully by then, though, I will have a lot of new things to talk about. Including a Chicago day trip next week to look at law schools with the law club I just joined.
I have begun. I have joined all these new groups, and I am meeting a lot of amazing new people. I can't wait to see where everything takes me. I am throwing my paint, and it is getting more colorful each day.
I think this blog may be the most therapeutic thing I have done in a while. I have no followers yet, and I am very reluctant to tell anyone about it. But, just putting my thoughts and feelings out there makes me feel accountable for what I do.
I have been super busy all week. Every night I have had some sort of meeting. This may seem like it is deterring me from doing the things I talked about in my first post, but in reality, it is only helping. The meetings have been for groups I have joined. I am throwing my first bits of paint, so to speak, and they are for things that will help me now and later. An honor's fraternity, a political science fraternity, and the college democrats are all lucky enough to now have my face at their meetings. :) The payoffs have been almost immediate already. I shook Dick Durbin's hand today. I only found out he was going to be here yesterday. That's how quick the benefits roll in from these things. Why didn't I do this sooner?
Sam and I have also decided to take time for ourselves. Instead of sitting on Facebook sending links to each other over Skype all night, we are now taking advantage of the free iTunes store and exercising to the free videos we have downloaded. It is already something I look forward to each night (Even if the girl on the "sexy stretch" video is super annoying).
The next two weeks will be even more hectic than this one, so I probably won't update for a while. Hopefully by then, though, I will have a lot of new things to talk about. Including a Chicago day trip next week to look at law schools with the law club I just joined.
I have begun. I have joined all these new groups, and I am meeting a lot of amazing new people. I can't wait to see where everything takes me. I am throwing my paint, and it is getting more colorful each day.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
"Live in the active voice, rather than passive. Think more about what you happen than what is happening to you." - William de Witt Hyde
Throwing paint. It's something I've always wanted to do. Ever since watching The Princess Diaries as a little kid, I have wanted to fill balloons with paint, hang them on a canvas, and throw darts at them. It is the sort of controlled chaos that defines my life. The thing is, I have never actually done it. Sure, I have made plans to, and I always say it's something I'm going to eventually do, but I still haven't done it. School, my summer job, and a bunch of other things always made me push it back as something I would do later.
That's what this blog is going to be about. Not throwing darts at paint balloons necessarily, (I will hopefully be able to post about doing that sometime in the next year, though), but all the things I put off and push into the back of my mind because I am too busy or too tired. Yes, things are crazy right now. I have a lot of school work that needs done and the LSAT to study for. I am looking for a job, figuring out what my summer is going to entail, working on what I need to move into the apartment in June, and getting ready for my first rent payment in a couple of weeks. But, I also spend hours of my day on Facebook doing nothing. I could be spending that time taking charge of my life and doing something I love.
There are many things I want out of this life; many things that I want to do that I have never told anyone about. I love writing. I think one of the coolest things I could ever do would be to write a book, screenplay, stage play, or something like that. I could easily be working on something like that right now. I want to be more confident, get in better shape, and be an overall more productive member of this world. That isn't something I have to put off until later.
I am sick of waiting for my life to begin. In high school I was waiting for college. Now I am waiting for law school. In law school I will be waiting for the real world. I refuse to just float along until then. I am deciding right now to take charge of my life. This can be the moment I look back on later to know when everything started to change. I'm going to start throwing my paint, living in the active voice. I can't wait to bring people along for the ride.
That's what this blog is going to be about. Not throwing darts at paint balloons necessarily, (I will hopefully be able to post about doing that sometime in the next year, though), but all the things I put off and push into the back of my mind because I am too busy or too tired. Yes, things are crazy right now. I have a lot of school work that needs done and the LSAT to study for. I am looking for a job, figuring out what my summer is going to entail, working on what I need to move into the apartment in June, and getting ready for my first rent payment in a couple of weeks. But, I also spend hours of my day on Facebook doing nothing. I could be spending that time taking charge of my life and doing something I love.
There are many things I want out of this life; many things that I want to do that I have never told anyone about. I love writing. I think one of the coolest things I could ever do would be to write a book, screenplay, stage play, or something like that. I could easily be working on something like that right now. I want to be more confident, get in better shape, and be an overall more productive member of this world. That isn't something I have to put off until later.
I am sick of waiting for my life to begin. In high school I was waiting for college. Now I am waiting for law school. In law school I will be waiting for the real world. I refuse to just float along until then. I am deciding right now to take charge of my life. This can be the moment I look back on later to know when everything started to change. I'm going to start throwing my paint, living in the active voice. I can't wait to bring people along for the ride.
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